I saved these pants for three long years
In the hope again I’d wear
But when I tried my pants said ‘NO!’
‘Of yourself you’ve took no care.’
Your middle’s spread, your bum’s too big
And widened have your your hips
There is no blame but your own self
With cakes and cream on lips.
So get a grip and let them go
You are no more size eight!
Give them away to charity
And stop eating snacks real late!
Don’t keep them ‘Just in case’ no more
They clearly will not fit
It’s time to buy a bigger size
And it’s just tough you don’t like it!
The fact your middle’s grown somewhat
Makes it time for you to file
And finally put this experience
In that category called ‘self denial’